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The current year marks a full decade since the term “disappearing” hit the common lexicon. At the time, the concept that someone could suddenly stop communication with a lover without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, finding a mate has only become more bewildering – an commonly unsuccessful pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media slang.

Gen Z, a generation who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a detailed glossary to the terms Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reaction is engaged or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means seeking out someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people bond while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do low-cost romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to couples who forgo having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral quirks indicating a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, bad tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions affirm your decision to date a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, largely benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly kill any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {